The Awakening

A time comes in your life when you finally get it . . . When in the
midst of
all your fears and insanity you stop dead in your tracks and somewhere
the
voice inside your head cries out - ENOUGH!  Enough fighting and crying
or
struggling to hold on. And, like a child quieting down after a blind
tantrum,
your sobs begin to subside, you shudder once or twice, you blink back
your
tears and through a mantle of wet lashes you begin to look at the world
through new eyes. This is your awakening.
 

You realize that it's time to stop hoping and waiting for something to
change
or for happiness, safety and security to come galloping over the next
horizon. You come to terms with the fact that he is not Prince Charming
and
you are not Cinderella and that in the real world there aren't always
fairy
tale endings (or beginnings for that matter) and that any guarantee of
"happily ever after" must begin with you and in the process a sense of
serenity
is born of acceptance.

You awaken to the fact that you are not perfect and that not everyone
will
always love, appreciate or approve of who or what you are . . . and
that's
OK.  (They are entitled to their own views and opinions.)  And you learn
the
importance of loving and championing yourself and in the process a sense
of
new found confidence is born of self-approval.
 

You stop bitching and blaming other people for the things they did to
you (or
didn't do for you) and you learn that the only thing you can really
count on
is the unexpected. You learn that people don't always say what they mean
or
mean what they say and that not everyone will always be there for you
and
that it's not always about you.
 

So, you learn to stand on your own and to take care of yourself and in
the
process a sense of safety & security is born of self-reliance.  You stop
judging and pointing fingers and you begin to accept people as they are
and
to overlook their shortcomings and human frailties and in the process a
sense
of peace & contentment is born of forgiveness.  You realize that much of
the way you view
yourself, and the world around you, is as a result of all the messages
and
opinions that have been ingrained into your psyche. And you begin to
sift
through all the crap you've been fed about how you should behave, how
you
should look and how much you should weigh, what you should wear and
where you
should shop and what you should drive, how and where you should live and
what you should do for a
living, who you should sleep with, who you should marry and what you
should
expect of a marriage, the importance of having and raising children or
what
you owe your parents.
 

You learn to open up to new worlds and different points of view. And you
begin reassessing and redefining who you are and what you really stand
for.
You learn the difference between wanting and needing and you begin to
discard
the doctrines and values you've outgrown, or should never have bought
into to
begin with and in the process you learn to go with your instincts. You
learn
that it is truly in giving that we receive.

And that there is power and glory in creating and contributing and you
stop
maneuvering through life merely as a "consumer" looking for your next
fix.

You learn that principles such as honesty and integrity are not the
outdated
ideals of a by gone era but the mortar that holds together the
foundation
upon which you must build a life.

You learn that you don't know everything; it's not your job to save the
world
and that you can't teach a pig to sing.  You learn to distinguish
between
guilt and responsibility and the importance of setting boundaries and
learning to say NO.  You learn that the only cross to bear is the one
you
choose to carry and that martyrs get burned at the stake.
 

Then you learn about love.  Romantic love and familial love. How to
love, how
much to give in love, when to stop giving and when to walk away. You
learn
not to project your needs or your feelings onto a relationship. You
learn
that you will not be more beautiful, more intelligent, more lovable or
important because of the
man on your arm or the child that bears your name. You learn to look at
relationships as they really are and not as you would have them be.  You
stop
trying to control people, situations and outcomes.
 

You learn that just as people grow and change so it is with love . . . .
And
you learn that you don't have the right to demand love on your terms . .
.
just to make you happy.

And, you learn that alone does not mean lonely . . .   And you look in
the
mirror and come to terms with the fact that you will never be a size 5
or a
perfect 10 and you stop trying to compete with the image inside your
head and
agonizing over how you "stack up."

You also stop working so hard at putting your feelings aside, smoothing
things over and ignoring your needs.  You learn that feelings of
entitlement
are perfectly OK . . . and that it is your right to want things and to
ask
for the things that you want . . . and that sometimes it is necessary to
make demands.

You come to the realization that you deserve to be treated with love,
kindness, sensitivity and respect and you won't settle for less.  And,
you
allow only the hands of a lover who cherishes you to glorify you with
his
touch . . .  and in the process you internalize the meaning of
self-respect.

And you learn that your body really is your temple. And you begin to
care for
it and treat it with respect. You begin eating a balanced diet, drinking
more
water and taking more time to exercise. You learn that fatigue
diminishes the
spirit and can create doubt and fear. So you take more time to rest.

And, just as food fuels the body, laughter fuels our soul. So you take
more
time to laugh and to play.

You learn, that for the most part, in life you get what you believe you
deserve . . . and that much of life truly is a self-fulfilling prophecy.
You
learn that anything worth achieving is worth working for and that
wishing for
something to happen is different from working toward making it happen.

More importantly, you learn that in order to achieve success you need
direction, discipline and perseverance. You also learn that no one can
do it
all alone and that it's OK to risk asking for help.

You learn that the only thing you must truly fear is the great robber
baron
of all time.  FEAR itself.  You learn to step right into and through
your
fears because you know that whatever happens you can handle it and to
give in
to fear is to give away the right to live life on your terms.

And you learn to fight for your life and not to squander it living under
a
cloud of impending doom.  You learn that life isn't always fair, you
don't
always get what you think you deserve and that sometimes bad things
happen to
unsuspecting, good people. On these occasions you learn not to
personalize
things. You learn that God isn't punishing you or failing to answer your
prayers.  It's just life happening.
 

And you learn to deal with evil in its most primal state -- the ego.
You
learn that negative feelings such as anger, envy and resentment must be
understood and redirected or they will suffocate the life out of you and
poison the universe that surrounds you. You learn to admit when you are
wrong and to build bridges instead of walls.

You learn to be thankful and to take comfort in many of the simple
things we
take for granted, things that millions of people upon the earth can only
dream about; a full refrigerator, clean running water, a soft warm bed,
a
long hot shower.

Slowly, you begin to take responsibility for yourself by yourself and
you
make yourself a promise to never betray yourself and to never ever
settle for
less than your heart's desire.  And you hang a wind chime outside your
window
so you can listen to the wind.  And you make it a point to keep smiling,
to
keep trusting and to stay open to every wonderful possibility.

Finally, with courage in your heart and with God by your side you take a
stand, you take a deep breath and you begin to design the life you want
to
live as best as you can.